devotional challenge!

i am going to do the first 12 days of this devotee challenge! i will be as consistent as i can with posting lol. i want to explore the g-dspousal element of my relationship with hashem, and i thought this could be a fun place to start! :3

day 1

name the deity you will be working with for the remainder of this challenge. give a quick overview of your relationship with that deity.

i, along with most jews, refer to our deity as 'g-d' or 'hashem' out of respect :D. i began my relationship with hashem about four years ago, both out of necessity (those were rough times) and from a desire to connect to my culture. my relationship with them has shifted recently since my realization of being an angel, and i'm continuing to explore how to connect with them best! im becoming more traditionally observant, which has opened up new paths of connection, but i still feel really new to it all...

day 2

what initially drew you to that deity? (did they call you? did you call them? how did you discover their identity? etc.)

to expand on the fact that my relationship with hashem began out of necessity, i had severe mental health and disability issues in my early teens, and i had to figure out something bigger to do it all for. i needed someone who was always there and always had my back, at every moment. i don't have clear memories of that time, but i found hashem there.

day 3

does your deity have any alternate names or epithets? if they do, what are they, and what do they mean? what does the name you call your deity mean?

hashem has many epithets! including, but not limited to: ad-nai (o) -> my l-rd (o), el -> g-d, el-him (o) -> g-ds, [el] sh-ddai (a) -> g-d almighty, ely-n (o) -> supreme, and [the] shekhinah -> dwelling.

the word "hashem" actually translates to "the name" in reference to the tetragrammaton, or the unspeakable name of g-d. i opt for 'hashem' as opposed to the others listed most of the time, since it is appropriate in both casual and serious settings, while names like ad-nai (o) are only used ritually.

day 4

what symbols/animals/plants/etc. are associated with your deity? start out by listing the ones that you know. then, do a little research to see if you can find more. in a separate list on the same post, list those ones, too. make note of which ones you think fit and dont fit your deity.

i honestly cant think of many! other than trees, both in reference to the 'tree of life' and in connection to the shekhinah. upon searching around, i was reminded that the letter shin "" symbolizes the epithet 'el sh-ddai (a)' mentioned in the previous entry! jewish law is fairly iconoclastic, so not much is used to overtly represent g-d. i do connect with tree symbolism, i feel like that fits!

day 5

describe your favorite story/myth that involves your deity. discuss why this one is your favorite, and if this story/myth somehow influences your practice.

probably the exodus honestly. hashem saved the jewish people from slavery in egypt and protected our escape. what makes this particular myth my favorite is that 1) it demonstrates how strong g-d's love for us is, and 2) we are told it is important to remember that not only did hashem save our ancestors from egypt, but they saved us, too. this emphasis on the individual liberation of each jew really inspires me to make the most out of this freedom i've been blessed with!

day 6

describe your least favorite story/myth that involves your deity. why is it your least favorite? (is it because it shows a different aspect of your deity that you dont see often?) try to turn that negative into a positive, and use this as a learning experience.

i really dont have one, honestly. which is convenient, since i missed this prompt due to shabbat lol. i will still include it just because!

day 7

discuss your UPG for your deity. what inspired those UPG? afterwards, do a little research and try to find other popular UPG. do you agree or disagree with that UPG, and why?

some of my hashem-related UPG includes my belief that hashem is the only 'real thing' and thus everything is either hashem or temporary/unreal, as well as my theory that g-d is kind of a marriage between a more impersonal concept and a more tangible aspect (g-d and the shekhinah, respectively, if you will). what was originally UPG and is now closer to VPG is my belief that g-d created the world to experience themself (a fairly common mystical belief spanning multiple cultures). i wouldnt really say anything in particular inspired my UPG; i honestly just came to believe them with a level of certainty that told me there was something significant about them.

since hashem is not a pagan deity, they are not someone with much publically-discussed UPG to their name. that being said, in fairly theologically liberal jewish circles, i do see a lot of asherah-related UPG. some believe that asherah really is g-d's wife, and/or that she is still part of the judaism through the shekhinah. on one hand, this does parallel my marriage UPG fairly strongly, but i am also weary of attempts to regress jewish thought to polytheism. i will likely continue to think about these theories as my personal practice develops.

day 8

describe what you have placed on your altar for this deity. if you don’t have an altar yet, discuss what you would put on the altar if you had one. is there anything “missing” on your altar/are there items you wish you could add? what are they, and why do you want to add them?

at the moment, i dont really have separate altars for g-d and entity work, so i will just name the things that arent specific to my entity work i suppose. i have: a crocheted angel, a crystal angel, a crystal frog, crystal mushrooms, an evil eye bead, a 'golem' amulet, a copper bowl of almonds (for cleansing), a bowl of rue (protection), a bell, and two incense holders! what i mostly feel is missing is more art. i do have a few things on the wall above the altar, but i hope to acquire some unique jewish artwork!

day 9

discuss your daily/weekly/monthly/etc. worship "schedule." what do you do for your deity? what offerings do you give? how often do you pray? and so on. are you happy with how much/little time you give your deity? if not, what could you do to change that?

oy vey, it's certainly not where i want it to be lol. atm the most consistent thing i do is observe shabbat, which i am proud of myself for doing, all things considered. i do not really give "offerings" in the typical sense, but i do 'offer' my time and energy daily. i try to pray every day, though i would like to reach a point where i pray thrice a day as i am obligated to. currently i am working on the wake-up and bedtime prayers. i honestly think one of the biggest obstacles between me and hashem is my phone...i ought to use my screen time limits more.

day 10

what method(s) do you usually use to contact your deity? (tarot, godphone, etc.) why do you like using that method?

i mean i pray, but that feels more like connection than 'contact' in that i dont do it to recieve messages. i mainly operate off of claircognizance/intuition/"gut feeling" which i do feel blessed to be capable of, but it isnt much of a QnA type of communication lol. i didnt choose this method, it is presumably what hashem chose for me.